George Carlin's "Airplane Announcements"

George Carlin makes you think twice about what pilots and flight attendants say over the course of your flights. Like the phrase "Final Destination". He's right; all destinations are final. If it's not, you aren't quite where you are going yet! hahaha.
Everytime I have been on board an airplane, I have heard these phrases but have NEVER actually thought critically about them. When you are traveling, you have other things on your mind, and the last thing you are thinking about is how the flight lectures should be worded. But if you are George Carlin, you may have thought long and hard about these phrases. Also, if you are George Carlin, chances are you are not reading this because...well...he's dead. R.I.P. George Carlin!
So the question of the day is, if you have been on an airplane (or have any familiarity with flight attendant instructions), did you ever think about how mindless and/or sugar coated they are?
Sugar coated would be "In the unlikely even of a water landing..." which translates to "If we crash into the ocean..." though I supposed "water landing" is much more calming than "crashing into the ocean".